Republished with permission from theDailyWTF:
“The rent must be cheap,” Alex mused as he pulled into the muddy field that served as a parking lot. He guided his car into a spot beside another car, which happened to be up on blocks. The building he was here to visit was a double-wide trailer that had started rotting before Alex was born and didn’t intend to stop until well after he was dead.
It wasn’t a very nice office. Alex was there because his employer owned it, and the handful of employees located at this site depended on its local RAID for file storage. Sometime over the weekend, the RAID failed, and now he needed to fix it.
Alex opened the door and an unidentifiable miasma punched him right in the olfactory receptors. While his guard was down, it followed up with a few solid shots to his stomach. The place was a sty. The trash bins overflowed onto the floor, and every horizontal surface was piled high with empty junkfood wrappers and soda cans. You could spot the computers because they were indentations in the mountains of trash.
Alex swallowed bile and considered asking to see the bathroom before proceeding to the server room. Then he thought about what he might see in the bathroom and decided that he’d just hold onto his lunch the hard way. The server room was a closet in the back of the trailer. He waded back and opened the door.
The server holding the RAID controller was off. Alex hit the power, hoping that would be that, but it remained off. He reached behind it and confirmed that the cable was plugged in. While his hand was back there, something brushed across it. Alex closed his eyes and told himself it was nothing more than a stray cable. Nothing more.
Since the server was plugged in, Alex unplugged it and popped the front panel off.
Then he proceeded to scream like a little girl falling of a cliff into lava. A legion of cockroaches poured out of the now open server, fleeing the light in favor of the dark corners of the server closet, and they took the shortest route to get there: directly across Alex’s hands.
After a lot of screaming, more crying than he’d admit to, and a path in Purell and gasoline, Alex went back to examine the damage. The inside of the server reminded him of the office outside, although this time the piles of garbage were dead roaches and stacks of roach eggs. Probably because of how warm it got, the roaches had built the main portion of their nest right on the RAID controller.
There was no point in replacing the server until the office got a full decontamination. Alex heard that they got the place cleaned up and the roaches exterminated, but for some reason, no one ever told him to go back there.
Picture Source: [Infollatus (CC)]
And not in a good way. I’ve never encountered RAM that looks like the before.
“It’s running really slow”
Five minutes in and I can tell I’ll be earning every single dollar tonight.
“The item functions perfectly but as seen on the photo, there is a bullet hole just below the screen.
A firearm discharged accidentally while being maintenanced.”
via: [Ebay via Reddit]
(I’m still flabberghasted I took this call. It starts out pretty normally, but ends in a complete loss for word)
Caller: “I have two monitors on my computer, and there no image on my left monitor, where everything normally is shown”
Me: “Okay, is there any power lights on the left monitor at all?”
Caller: “No, just the one on the right monitor”
Me: “Okay, we need to ensure all the power cables are plugged in securely to the wall outlets”
Caller (after shuffling around a bit): “Yeah, they all appear to be plugged in.”
Me: “Okay, that’s odd. Can you swap the power cables for each monitor, so they are plugged into each other’s power outlet?”
Caller (shuffles some more, much longer than it should require): I can’t get one out. Is there a trick to getting it out?”
Me (alarmed something just went wrong): “No….it’s a power cord. You just pull. No power outlet has a lock-in system….”
Caller: “You mean the cord on the back of the monitor, right?”
Me (realizing what’s going on): “Nonononono! I said the POWER cord at the OUTLET. You know…in the wall.”
Caller: “Well….what do they look like?”
Caller: “I’m not a computer person”
Me: “Uhhhh…It’s a power cord. It has three prongs, and looks like a power cable that you would plug in for your TV, your radio, your blender at home…..it’s a POWER CABLE!”
In the end, I had to send a technician out to check power cords.
NOTE: The names have been changed to protect the uber-guilty
Co-worker: “Hi, thanks for calling the Helpdesk.Â May I start with your first and last name, please?”
Caller: “Hi, my name is Doctor Anna Schneider.”
Co-Worker: “Okay, Doctor Schneider.Â When you call in, you need to press Option 1 for…”
Caller: “I’m not a doctor”.
Co-Worker: *speechless for a moment* “…but, you identified yourself as ‘Doctor Anna Schneider’..”
Caller: “That’s right”
Co-Worker: “Okay, then you need to press option 1.Â I’ll transfer you over there…”
Caller: “But I’m not a doctor”
-Wait, what just happened there?Â - Rob
Picture Source: [aeu04117 (CC)]
“I accidentally dropped it 27 times”
via: [Fail Blog]